Saturday, September 22, 2012


These past 8 months that Ryan has been gone have been strange.  I won't get into all of that here, because that's not what this blog is about.  But I'm not sure how I would've gotten through them without my amazing family, friends, music, and critters.  I'm still most astonished by how incredible people have been.  My friends, Ryan's friends, our family, and especially people that I didn't even know before January.  I am profoundly grateful to have all of you in my life (whether you're reading this or not, haha).  Thank you.

The pup is Gilbert.  We found each other on a rainy evening outside of my storage unit the week before I was to move.  I was determined to ignore the skinny, unneutered, soggy creature with the filthy coat and goopy green eyes.  Thankfully I wasn't very strong that night.  ;)  He single-handedly eliminated my anxiety about living alone for the first time, and has been pretty much perfect since day one.  Yes, he's very bouncy, and quite stinky.. but I couldn't ask for a better dogger.

Anyway.  Thank you.  And I guess I'm back?

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Radiohead Memories

Tonight I'm meeting my brother in Tampa to see Radiohead. Somewhat bittersweet - I've wanted to see them for about a dozen years, but I was supposed to be going with Ryan.

Thinking about finally seeing these guys live brought back some memories:

Jacob at my house in 2000 with the first mp3 player I'd ever seen, introducing me to the band's less commercial stuff.

Driving up from Sarasota in 2002 with Jason and Colleen for Ken's graduation - his main present from me was a Radiohead cd.

Rushing home from speech class (2003?) to write a paper (due that day) that I'd forgotten to write. I was sitting on the bus with my trusty burgundy corduroy messenger back with the Radiohead patch, when the guy across from me asked me what my favorite album was. Within a few minutes Andrew and I were friends, and met up later that day (after I'd finished and delivered my paper).. the first of many fun times.

And then Ryan.. so excited about getting tickets to see one of the few bands that we both really adored. (Our musical tastes were fairly different, with some strong overlaps including Radiohead, Tool, Miles Davis, and Bebo Valdes...) He was all set to be in front of the computer the minute tickets went on sale.. and then we both forgot. Luckily, good seats were still available later in the day. According to Radiohead's website, that day was November 19th, which was less than a week before he started feeling really terrible.

Tonight will be yet another Radiohead memory.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Last Months

I've pulled some photos off of our cameras of photos of Ryan's last months. We had some good times. He was always game to go out and give a hike/picnic/trip a chance. He rarely let his pain and discomfort stop him.

Backpacking in Tuscarora State Forest, PA....

Hiking in Gunpowder Falls State Park, MD...

One of our favorite ways to spend an afternoon:
Picnicking at Cylburn Arboretum in Baltimore with food from Atwater's...

Wandering around a sleety Philadelphia the morning
after a Medeski, Martin, & Wood concert...

And putting up with me kissing him and crazy fiber fun at both the Shenandoah Valley Fiber Fest and the Mountain Heritage Arts & Crafts Festival in West Virginia....

Tuesday, January 17, 2012


These past few months have been surreal. I keep telling people that, but "surreal" is really the most fitting description. Ryan's blog has the basic rundown - no need for me to rehash it here.

He's gone now, and I'm back in Florida at Dragon's Lair. Ryan knew that ponies, lab puppies, and calico cats are good for the soul, so I have yet another thing to thank him for.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and love.